You see I have this fear that if I don’t know what is happening than something bad will happen, this fear of losing that security in knowing the plan. When things start to go a different way than what I had planned, I start to get anxious, worried, stressed and upset. Sometimes I am justifiably upset, sometimes I break down and cry because I feel nothing can go right or I am hurt by the change of plans, other times I am afraid that something has gone wrong because that has happened so many times to me and I usually assume the worst, and still other times I am just being selfish and throwing a fit because something didn't go my way.
There are many ways in which I handle it, but all of them cause additional and unneeded stress to my life and the ones around me. I usually become emotional and snap at the ones who are there for me and trying to love me. That is the last thing I want to do, yet it happens more often than I would like to ever admit.
But the worst thing about stressing over something that doesn't go the way I planned is my choice to deny God the opportunity to show me something. Maybe that something is to tell me that being patient will bring good things, maybe it is to get me to trust Him more so that He can bless me, maybe the plans changed to protect me from something bad happening or to make it possible for something great to happen, maybe all those things and more. Regardless, my actions take that opportunity away from God. Things change, whether it was from people’s choices and actions, weather, traffic, electronic problems, etc… but no matter what happens, God is always in control and I need to remember that.
My life is not my own, but God’s and everything I do should reflect my love for Him and that He lives inside me. God desires me to let Him work in my life and guide me through things, whether to teach me a lesson or to provide me a blessing. Good or bad, God wants me to share it with Him and trust in Him. I need to praise Him in the storms no matter how big or small because He is there with me and will carry me through anything and without Him I would be nothing and have nothing. When I freak out over things, I am taking away what God has to offer me and I lose faith in Him when I should be leaning on Him. I am missing an opportunity to praise Him and see the blessing in the storm. I need to let go and let God.
I recently heard a sermon on this exact subject and it was like God was smacking me upside the head with it saying "this one is for you, listen up and obey". In that sermon, the pastor mentioned this tribe of hunters trying to bring down the overpopulated monkey problem. They would put a box with a mango in it against a tree. There was a hole in the box, but it was only big enough to fit the mango through, so when the monkey put his hand in the box he wouldn't be able to pull both his hand AND the mango back out. Day after day, they would catch these monkeys that would be sitting there trapped with their hand stuck in the box clutching onto that mango for dear life. All the monkeys had to do to be free was to drop the mango, yet they refused to let go, sealing their fate and signing their death sentence.
Now if you didn't figure it out yet... we are the monkeys, or at least I am anyways. All I have to do to be free is let go of my plans, let go of my worry, my stress, my everything and give it to God. Do I? Usually not until I have to. It is an ongoing problem with me and one I desperately need to change and want to change. It is okay for me to make plans, but I need to let God direct my steps. Proverbs 16:1 states "We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer." So I will continue to make my plans, but I need to let God guide me and I also need to prepare myself for interruptions because they can and will happen. And when God changes my plans, whatever the reason or lack of reason, I need to trust that God will not leave me and He will get me through.
I have two options... Hold on to the mango, or hold on to my faith in God. I didn't come from monkeys, I came from God; so therefore I should strive to be like Him and not the monkey. I need to forget about the mangoes of my life. Freedom is found in letting go!
My prayer today...
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please forgive me. I too often forget to let go and give you control of my life. I wonder why things aren't going the way I think they should or the way I want them to and I forget to stop and ask what you want, Lord. I want to follow you. I want what you desire for me. Please help me to realize that when you close one door, you open the one you want me to walk through. Help me also to realize that what I want may not be what is meant for me, or what is best for me, maybe it will lead me away from what your great plan is for me. Lord, let me accept each day as a gift. Let me follow the path you choose for me. Help me to be thankful for what you give me and not to worry about the rest. I know you will take care of all my needs. Remind me of my role in life… to serve you. I am yours not the other way around. My life is your life, not my own. Please forgive me for denying you the opportunity to work in my life by holding on to the things that I need to give up. Help me be who and what you want me to be. Give me strength, faith, hope, and guidance. Help me to let go of the mango and let you work in my life the way you desire to. I am yours Lord, use me for your will. I ask this in Jesus' name, Amen
(To listen to the sermon, follow this link http://sunridgechurch.org/sermons and click the sermon titled "Surviving Emotionally, in the Surviving Christmas series on the top of the page dated Dec 9, 2012)
(To listen to the sermon, follow this link http://sunridgechurch.org/sermons and click the sermon titled "Surviving Emotionally, in the Surviving Christmas series on the top of the page dated Dec 9, 2012)
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