Let it Snow...

Yesterday I had my first snow of the season and I loved it. I was excited all week and as it approached I was giddy and filled with anticipation.   

Granted I know that with snow comes dangerous driving conditions; high energy bills for keeping the house warm; freezing temperatures; shoveling driveways; scraping cars; ice to slip on; runny noses; frostbitten fingers and ears; wind-chills that burn your face and a bunch of other negative things. Yes, snow does bring all that and I admit that I am not a fan of any of those things. So why might you ask, am I filled with excitement at the thought of snow?

I am not sure the exact reason to be honest, but I think it is because I choose not to think about all the hard aches the snow brings, but focus on the snow itself.

As I look out my window at night and see the snow falling to the ground, lit up and almost glowing by the street lamps around me, all I can see is the beautiful, breathtaking miracle about to create my winter wonderland. I think of snowman, snow angels and snow forts; sparkling icicles hanging from houses; the snowflakes you can catch on your tongue, the way fresh fallen snow can cover the barren and dismal winter grounds and make it glisten and shine in the sun; how the bare trees that once looked sad and dead now sparkle like diamonds as each branch and twig are covered in pure white fluff.

It also reminds me of God’s wonderful hand of creation. Not all of his creations are full of life, snow is just water, yet he can turn a dismal and depressing scene into one that makes you stand in awe of its beauty.

Not only does it remind me of His awesome power, it also reminds me of His words in Isaiah 1:16-18. 

Wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight; stop doing wrong. Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. "Come now, let us settle the matter," says the Lord. "Though your sins are scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." 

God wants to completely cleanse us, to wash our sins away so that we are "whiter than snow". Freshly fallen snow in the sunlight is so white it is blinding, can you imagine being whiter than that, being cleaner than that? It seems impossible, especially when I consider all of my sins. But God can do it and has done it to me and continues to every day and He does it through the precious blood of Jesus. 

 

This winter, I encourage all of you and myself to look at the snow when it falls and blankets the ground and streets, I mean really see it and give thanks to God who has given it, also remembering that God wants to make our soul as white as this new-fallen snow!  Thank you Lord for this breathtaking snow and this wonderful gift of grace!

Don't be a monkey...Drop the Mango!

Patience is a virtue, posses it if you can; seldom in a woman and never in a man. I have heard this saying from my grandmother my entire life yet I still struggle with it. I didn't used to be as bad as I am with it and I think that it was the combination of things in my life this past year in a half with the tumors and hearing loss as well as Afghanistan that probably changed me. Either way, it is not a change for the good.

You see I have this fear that if I don’t know what is happening than something bad will happen, this fear of losing that security in knowing the plan. When things start to go a different way than what I had planned, I start to get anxious, worried, stressed and upset. Sometimes I am justifiably upset, sometimes I break down and cry because I feel nothing can go right or I am hurt by the change of plans, other times I am afraid that something has gone wrong because that has happened so many times to me and I usually assume the worst, and still other times I am just being selfish and throwing a fit because something didn't go my way.

There are many ways in which I handle it, but all of them cause additional and unneeded stress to my life and the ones around me. I usually become emotional and snap at the ones who are there for me and trying to love me. That is the last thing I want to do, yet it happens more often than I would like to ever admit.

But the worst thing about stressing over something that doesn't go the way I planned is my choice to deny God the opportunity to show me something. Maybe that something is to tell me that being patient will bring good things, maybe it is to get me to trust Him more so that He can bless me, maybe the plans changed to protect me from something bad happening or to make it possible for something great to happen, maybe all those things and more. Regardless, my actions take that opportunity away from God. Things change, whether it was from people’s choices and actions, weather, traffic, electronic problems, etc… but no matter what happens, God is always in control and I need to remember that. 

My life is not my own, but God’s and everything I do should reflect my love for Him and that He lives inside me. God desires me to let Him work in my life and guide me through things, whether to teach me a lesson or to provide me a blessing. Good or bad, God wants me to share it with Him and trust in Him. I need to praise Him in the storms no matter how big or small because He is there with me and will carry me through anything and without Him I would be nothing and have nothing. When I freak out over things, I am taking away what God has to offer me and I lose faith in Him when I should be leaning on Him. I am missing an opportunity to praise Him and see the blessing in the storm. I need to let go and let God.

I recently heard a sermon on this exact subject and it was like God was smacking me upside the head with it saying "this one is for you, listen up and obey". In that sermon, the pastor mentioned this tribe of hunters trying to bring down the overpopulated monkey problem. They would put a box with a mango in it against a tree. There was a hole in the box, but it was only big enough to fit the mango through, so when the monkey put his hand in the box he wouldn't be able to pull both his hand AND the mango back out. Day after day, they would catch these monkeys that would be sitting there trapped with their hand stuck in the box clutching onto that mango for dear life. All the monkeys had to do to be free was to drop the mango, yet they refused to let go, sealing their fate and signing their death sentence. 

Now if you didn't figure it out yet... we are the monkeys, or at least I am anyways. All I have to do to be free is let go of my plans, let go of my worry, my stress, my everything and give it to God. Do I? Usually not until I have to. It is an ongoing problem with me and one I desperately need to change and want to change. It is okay for me to make plans, but I need to let God direct my steps. Proverbs 16:1 states "We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer." So I will continue to make my plans, but I need to let God guide me and I also need to prepare myself for interruptions because they can and will happen. And when God changes my plans, whatever the reason or lack of reason, I need to trust that God will not leave me and He will get me through. 

I have two options... Hold on to the mango, or hold on to my faith in God. I didn't come from monkeys, I came from God; so therefore I should strive to be like Him and not the monkey. I need to forget about the mangoes of my life. Freedom is found in letting go! 

My prayer today...

Dear Heavenly Father, 

Please forgive me. I too often forget to let go and give you control of my life. I wonder why things aren't going the way I think they should or the way I want them to and I forget to stop and ask what you want, Lord. I want to follow you. I want what you desire for me. Please help me to realize that when you close one door, you open the one you want me to walk through. Help me also to realize that what I want may not be what is meant for me, or what is best for me, maybe it will lead me away from what your great plan is for me.  Lord, let me accept each day as a gift. Let me follow the path you choose for me. Help me to be thankful for what you give me and not to worry about the rest. I know you will take care of all my needs. Remind me of my role in life… to serve you. I am yours not the other way around. My life is your life, not my own. Please forgive me for denying you the opportunity to work in my life by holding on to the things that I need to give up. Help me be who and what you want me to be. Give me strength, faith, hope, and guidance. Help me to let go of the mango and let you work in my life the way you desire to. I am yours Lord, use me for your will. I ask this in Jesus' name, Amen

 (To listen to the sermon, follow this link http://sunridgechurch.org/sermons and click the sermon titled "Surviving Emotionally, in the Surviving Christmas series on the top of the page dated Dec 9, 2012)

My new blank slate...

So I am starting a new blog today. I've had them in the past but this one is a brand new slate. There is no theme to this blog, no topic, no agenda, nothing, just whatever I feel at the moment. It is a blank page to be filled with my thoughts, ideas, hopes, desires, dreams, poems, etc... I am starting a new chapter in my life right now and I figure I should start from scratch here as well.

As I sit here and wonder where to begin on this new blog of mine, a thought comes to mind. My brand new slate is similar to the one Jesus gives us when we accept Him into our heart. Our past sins and life are washed away clean and forgiven and we are given a new body, a new life in which to live for Him. And this ultimate forgiveness is not just a one-time occurrence either, it happens daily. Our Lord is constantly forgiving us and wiping our slate clean. He throws all of my sins away and by His mercy and love He gives me another chance. 

I don't know about you, but I have been given more chances than I can ever begin to count, and I know that there will be countless more to come as well. I tend to take these chances for granted all the time and instead of being grateful for what the Lord has given me, I complain to Him that the things in my life are not going as I planned. 

God still listens though, He still forgives me, and most of all He still loves me. For that I am grateful and even though I might not say it as much as I ought to or think about it as often as I should, when I do, the love and grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ overwhelms me and fills my heart. I am humbled in His presence and He embraces me in His always open, always present, and always loving arms.

So now just as I started this new blog, and on my way to starting a new chapter in my life, I have also started fresh once more in my ever-changing blank slate that Christ so gracefully allows me. Thank you Lord for your forgiveness and your mercy, thank you for never giving up on me, and thank you for your unconditional  love. 

I pray that with this new blank slate I start here, I will fill it will pages that will glorify His name and that it will always remind me of the blank slate He continually gives to me. I hope my random ramblings also help all of you remember the new page Christ can give you as well. Thank you and enjoy!

Jay